Making Life Simple: My Workspace

I wanted to start a new series of Blog posts about how I am simplifying my life. Up till a few years ago I have always loved owning many possessions, planning lots of goals and tasks and wanting to try many different things and ideas. This is all great but it has filled my life with unnecessary crap! I feel like I don’t know exactly what I like or what I want to do, what my style is and just having time to even figure that all out. I have felt like this for a few years which is why I started pursuing my Blog and YouTube channel to help me figure out what I like to do. I have also been slowly decluttering and clearing the physical clutter from my home and really simplifying my calendar.

I thought  I would show you how far I’m up to as I feel like I’m actually making some progress now. I felt like the most important space for me was one where I spend a lot of my time at my desk, I have only focused on my desk for now and not the whole office space as it is rammed full of wedding decorations at the moment! 
Here is the before...

I knew I wanted the area to be clean and tidy and just a lot more serene. The shelves above my desk have been a feature at every desk I have ever had, wherever I have lived and so it just felt natural to do it in this flat too, but I found that I would quite often spend time rearranging the shelves trying to make them look pretty and styled, so I just got rid of them, It feels so much lighter and airier without them! 
Here is the after...

I repainted the walls white to freshen them up a bit and decluttered my desk leaving only a few essential items, along with a candle and plant to add a slight bit of interest, and that is how far I have got to at the moment. I plan to add a few subtly coloured framed prints on the wall behind the computer, or maybe a few hanging plants or a shelf for some carefully selected items. I’m not sure what to go for yet as I don’t want to make it too busy again. 

I made all of the things I stored in boxes on the shelves fit into the drawers, by throwing a lot of things I was’t using out.  I painted the printer storage cupboard that I made from some old Ikea drawers we no longer needed (going to make a curtain to cover the printer) There are a few things left to do to make this area really nice but a the moment I am really loving the simplicity of it, and its the one calm and clear space that I can go to to be creative.

I Had to Take a Break

It's been a little over a month since I uploaded a post on here and it's because a lot has been going on for me. In January I was so excited to start blogging and making videos on my Youtube channel (having thought about doing it for years) I didn't want to wait until after my wedding so I attempted it all at once alongside planning our wedding. I knew doing it all at the same time would be stressful and I was prepared for that, I knew it might affect my consistency in being able to upload something on the same days each week while still prioritising my wedding, but I wanted to get started so I could start getting better at it. However, the thing I wasn't quite expecting was the anxiety, I thought I had had anxiety before in my normal day to day life, and at school when things like deadlines were looming or being in social situations like parties, I always slightly grind my teeth and feel tense in my back and shoulders. Recently I felt like I have experienced a deeper level of anxiety and having always thought of it like a close relative to depression I thought I knew what it was, but as I have been feeling so happy and excited about everything happening in my life right now, I didn't know how to cope with this random intense anxiety, so I took a break from blogging and filming.

I feel so much better now, but it got to the point where I wasn't sleeping for entire nights in a row, and then one morning I slept through my alarm clock and was late to work, I felt awful as our team has shrunk in the past year due to cuts so I am much more depended on to be on time. Missing my alarm wrecked my sleep as the anxiety from possibly missing it again made sure I wasn't going to get a good nights rest. I was also eating terribly as I wasn't preparing things in advance as it wasn't my priority, meaning I had to grab things on the go or eat whatever was in the fridge, or what wasn't and just go hungry. I started to feel generally run down and achey and eventually my mood fell quite low as I felt like I was failing, I had piled too much on myself with too high expectations too fast and I wasn't coping so I stopped doing everything except going to work.

I already have respect for YouTubers and bloggers who upload and post regularly and consistently as I know it is a lot of work. I haven't been in charge of my own work since university 10 years ago so I'm not used to managing myself, especially with a full time job and a long commute! My job is enjoyable with lots of opportunities that challenge me, but working for myself I realised you will never get pressure from anyone like you do from yourself, and when you don't get it right your mind can tell you some really hurtful things that can break you down so quickly. As a teenager I feel I suffered from mild depression for many years, and so I have always been wary of what I need to do for myself when I start to feel low, but it's taken me a while to figure out my anxiety as I don't believe I have ever truly felt it to this capacity. Don't get me wrong I am no expert on my depression, sometimes I will have a bout of it for weeks for absolutely no reason, and can't shake it off, so its all a learning curve and will be for the rest of my life as I am continuously changing and challenging myself.

To help with my anxiety I have been concentrating on getting back into a routine, and also adding more time to spend looking after myself. As our wedding is fast approaching its the perfect time for a bit of self care for me, I'm getting back into working out, I'm being much stricter with my Paleo diet and making sure I'm eating and sleeping enough. I'm preparing more things in advance and scheduling things in my diary so I get the important things done (so I don't lay awake worrying about them). My life and mind is just a little bit busy at the moment, and will be at least until after our wedding (although I love a good project to work on in my spare time!) So I'm just making the effort to be as healthy as I can and also taking time to meditate and calm my mind as well as recovering my body with yoga in the evenings before bed. Im prioritising my physical and mental health before anything because I can't do anything without them. Im happy to be back blogging (in my scheduled time!) and starting to feel like I'm getting a lot done, and back into lovely long nights of sleep!

I love to discuss this topic as depression and anxiety can seem such a mystery sometimes and when all the usual things to cheer you up don't work what do you do?