Should I Quit My Blog?

Today is the last day of January and as I spontaneously decided I would try blogging for the the whole month while in a January 1st hangover (I don’t know why lol), I thought I would look back at how it went and see if it’s something I want to carry on with.

I’ll admit that it has been difficult, I made no rules at the beginning of this process but kind of made a few loose rules as I went along, I decided to just upload on weekdays as it got to my first weekend and plans just took over, plus as I have been writing and uploading on the day that I upload most days, commuting on the train has its perks in that I have time to sit down and write. Some days have been more difficult than others to write, but most days I’m surprising myself on how much I have to say. I wasn’t able to blog every weekday as sometimes I just wasn’t in the mood, and would rather watch a YouTube video or read on the train, telling myself I’d write up a blog later, and then plans or other things would get in the way. So Iv learnt that I need to be slightly more organised and write on my journey in to work when my mind is fresh and focused, (although tired). I thought I might want to get some blog posts written up in advance and while I like this idea as it means I have more time and light to shoot photos and make it pretty etc, I know I may end up spending way more time than I can afford on it, I also love writing about how I feel that day in the moment as ideas flow more naturally. When I first started my blog a few years ago (click back to see the mess!) I would write things up and when I went back to it I felt it was complete rubbish, as the moment had passed. But I have a few ideas that I would like to sprinkle in amongst the impromptu posts so I’ll see if a mix of both works out.

Blogging five days a week

I wouldn’t say that I did this very well as I have been making YouTube videos alongside the blog and using them as my post on Mondays so it’s sort of a cheat, I also missed a few of Fridays posts purely because I was exhausted at the end of the weeks. I want to make time at the weekends to shoot more photos for my blog as the days in winter are short and I run out of natural light by the time I get home.

Will I carry on? Yes! There weren’t many downsides to blogging for me and on the most part I have enjoyed the creative challenge, making time to be creative each day has made me feel so much more inspired and full of ideas to fill my blog up this year. I’m so glad I just went for it, my attitude was ‘done is better than perfect’ and I have started to let people know that I am blogging too which has been a massive outer comfort zone step for me! Moving forward I would like to start to try improving by taking it a little more seriously, taking more pictures, creating better and more interesting and varied content, although I’m still figuring out what kind of content I enjoy writing about. I also don't think I will be posting as regularly as 5 times a week until I can get to a high level of content, but I have lots of ideas so 3 times a week should be doable for me at the moment. Most of all though, I want to continue enjoying it. So here’s to blogging in 2018! I hope you enjoy the journey as much as I intend to.

How My Style has Changed Since Turning 30

Since turning 30 last March Iv felt like my style has changed quite drastically, when buying clothes, I no longer always opt for everything in neutral colours. I’m not sure if it’s because clothes seem to be more fun lately with flamingos and unicorns being on trend, but I’m finding that I am drawn to brighter colours and metallics all of a sudden. I’ve also fallen in love with midi pleated skirts, wtf?! I’m totally a jeans wearer but I seem to have replaced most of them with brightly coloured skirts, I’m down to two decent pairs of jeans right now! But it doesn’t worry me, I feel like I’m a completely different person and I shouldn’t recognise myself, but Iv never felt more me.

I feel like Iv stopped caring so much about what other people think of me, worrying too much about what people think of me has been the route cause of my crippling shyness that has taken me years to get over. I used to find it so hard to speak to people, especially new people but I even remember back when my nan would visit us once a week, she would be there for a few hours after school and I felt desperate to talk to her but didn’t feel comfortable until it was almost time for her to leave, I always felt like I needed to to warm up which took a few hours and by the time I had she was leaving. I don’t why I was like that as a child but it seemed to get worse when I went to secondary school, trying to make new friends and absolutely never talking to boys, I think people just thought I was strange and plain, in all honesty I knew I was hard work to be around to get the conversation flowing, and I can still be like that at times. It’s like an anxiety, when I don’t think about it I’m fine but if I start to think I’m shy, I’ll start overanalysing quiet spaces in conversation and then I panic and my mind goes blank or if I’m under pressure I’ll just word vomit utter rubbish. But I’m a work in progress. It usually comes with a feeling of being worthless and not deserving of the other people’s company or time, especially if that person is someone to be admired, ...although I always seem to find something to be admired in everyone! So Iv never really felt worthy to wear stand out pieces or to try to look good or sexy in my clothes because I had no confidence. But the work I am doing on myself is slowly paying off, I’d say I started at the age of 18 when I discovered that doing things that scare me really help me, as I was working in a shop stockroom behind the scenes for 2 years, I would go to work once a week since the age of 16, I’d say hello, not speak for 4hrs and then say goodbye and leave. Then when I was 18 they said I needed to be till trained just in case, so I agreed and the next thing they were short of staff and I needed to serve customers. I was shaking from head to toe, I hadn’t been so nervous in my life, I’d always found ways to get out of talking to people and this time there was no way out. My mum always discouraged me from quitting a job until I found a new one and as I was a ‘goody goody’ ‘people pleaser’ all my life I felt I had to do it. For those two days I couldn’t stop shaking while serving people at the till, and then it just got easier and easier. Then as I started to talk a bit more I got bullied by one of my coworkers, he would say nasty things and call me names because I suddenly started talking, I didn’t have the guts to tell him to fuck off. I would come across what would seem as small challenges but where massive to me, like having to talk on the phone or going to another shop to get more training as I advanced further. I hated doing new things but I was loving that I felt like I had finally found the way for me to be more confident as I always thought I would be like it for the rest of my life. 

So here I am 12 years later, I feel so much more optimistic and it shows as I am now buying clothes because I love them not just for functionality, however my outfits still feel as comfortable as jeans if not more so. This winter has been cold cycling to and from work so trousers have been a must, but I’m loving having fun with my t-shirts and trying to wear coloured trousers, and as soon as the weather warms up I’ll be whipping out my pleated skirts again!

Look Book

This is my first ever Look Book I made of three outfits I like to wear, go and have a look!

Getting a Tattoo

Iv wanted a tattoo for quite a few years now, but I haven't got one because I know how my mind changes all the time as I go through different phases of my life. I’m 30 now and have had an idea in my head about a tattoo that I’m certain about for a few years now, but Iv been holding off as I thought i didn’t want a tattoo in any of my wedding photos. Now I have my dress, I’m starting to go back on my thought because the tattoo I want would look awesome with my dress!

Iv only got around 5months till my wedding so I’m still procrastinating and debating what I should do. On one hand it would look awesome, I know what I want, who I want to do it and where, it would also mean something but only to me and not be connected to anyone or any particular thing, it would be more related to a time in my life. I’m just so excited when I think about it. On the other hand, it means bearing where i would be tattooed, my thigh. My wedding dress can be worn slightly see through and so would expose the tattoo. The dress in itself is quite different and kind of edgy if worn like that, but to top it off with a fresh tattoo that my family or partners family have never seen before may just be a bit of a shock (although I think it would be quite a funny reaction) I also think I have one life and I want to experience as much as I can, and this is kind of on my bucket list, I said I would get one when I turned 30!

Doing things like this is not a light decision for me and something that I take very seriously, I am happy with my body and although I don't like to bare it all, I don't want to end up with something I'll feel I need to cover up. I kind of feel like, the tattoo would be so me and I want to be me and not let the thought of what other people may think stop me from doing something. When I seriously think about it though I start to think about the permanence of it and how I may come to hate parts of it or all of it, as I'm a perfectionist and I always notice detail, if there is even something slightly off about it then I know I'll hate it. The other thing holding me back is that it will also cost a lot because I have a large tattoo in mind, all my spare cash from Christmas and Birthday would go on it, meaning all other plans for that money would have to wait (Iv saved this money as it now seems so precious as we are being so strict with our joint money) So ultimately I’m in this dilemma, I think I may go as far as enquiring if it’s actually all possible and affordable, and then maybe just go for it! It's crunch time and I will have to decide what to do, right now I'm so unsure and feeling 50/50 so I'll let you know what happens!

Sorry for this rambly confused post but this is my state of mind at the moment, what a lovely problem to have! Am I way overthinking this or should I just shut up and do it?! Anyway, it's nice to get my thoughts down.

My signature Drink

I read a book that talked about having a signature look, scent, drink, meal etc. Basically you try to choose your perfect one thing in each area that you always have, will be known for, can always fall back on/prepare/make/wear without looking at a recipe. I love that idea, because it means that you can sort of choose your own image and all that surrounds it. I’m not quite there with my signature look as I’m still figuring out what I feel good in, but I’m definitely there with my choice of drink! Or drinks as it depends on the occasion...

If I’m at a bar, I like to order a Prosecco, I love the fizz, it’s cold and tasty, and the fact that white wine gives me an awful hangover means that I won’t drink too much too quickly, it doesn’t cost as much as champagne but it almost always comes in a champagne flute which I think looks elegant and makes the drinker also look slightly more elegant, (well that’s what I’m hoping when I’m sipping it anyway!)

When I’m at home or eating a meal I will always opt for red wine, I love it as it can be a great appetiser before a meal, also going well with black olives, and it’s apparently not too bad for you, not that it bothers me either way. I think meals with red sauces like many pasta dishes or even pizza go very well with red wine. My favourite red’s are Apothic Red, which has a slightly chocolate flavour (sounds weird but you have to try it!) and a slightly cheaper one is Barefoot merlot. I don’t drink a lot and between myself and my fiancé one bottle will last two nights, usually a Friday and Saturday as I don’t like to drink the day before I work (5am starts!) otherwise we will use it to cook with.

The last of my signature choice of drink has got to be my favourite and I can’t believe how perfect it is for me. It’s a bright pink cocktail served in a champagne bowl or coupe called A Parisian, I found it last year when looking for recipes for my cocktail themed birthday party, I loved the name and didn’t think I would like it, but it’s now my solid favourite. It’s sweet and refreshing and goes down very well, however you will start to feel it’s effects about half way through!

4 Easy Habits that Have Improved my Health this Year

Eating Vegetables for Lunch

My only news years resolution this year was to eat more vegetables, which is harder than you would think in my household as I often get home too late to prepare dinner and so it’s left to my fiancé to cook, who would rather go without any veg. Iv started to prepare us both a vegetable soup each week, we’ve had leek and potato, and carrot and onion soups so far which both tasted really good. One of my fiancé's  specialties is making bread so we always have a nice crusty rustic loaf to go with the soups. This week I am making tomato soup with a basic cob loaf, Adam, my fiancé isn’t very well so I attempted the bread myself (with his supervision) 

Juicing Fruit and Veg

Another way I’m try to squeeze some more fruit and veg in is by juicing them, once a day I try to have a juice. This has brought our juicer out of retirement as it had become invisible on our kitchen counter top. I usually go for some sort of green juice, but I'll add an apple, pear and some lemon juice to make it sweet so I'll want to drink it again. I cant stand the healthy juices that look great when you see all the healthy ingredients going into your body so quickly , but they just make me wretch, plus this is the only time I will eat any fruit.

Drinking Enough Water

I've got a well established habit of drinking enough water everyday as I take my 500ml glass bottle with me everywhere, I now feel kind of lost without it. I always have a whole bottle while I do my makeup in the morning, then I just tell myself that I need to drink the whole bottle by 1pm, another by 5pm and another by 8pm, this means that I drink 2ltrs of water by the end of each day, I also have a coffee and mint tea in between.

Squeezing in a Workout Before the Day Starts

Iv just got into the swing of getting up half an hour earlier to squeeze in a quick workout on weekdays, I use T25 which is a 25min workout with a 5min stretch afterwards, and this works out my whole body over the week. I love it because I don’t need to think about what I need to train, I just do it in the comfort of my own home and at my own pace, and I feel so good afterwards, so much more awake and ready to go.

I haven’t had to compromise much at all with these habits and they barely take much time, I prep my lunches at the weekends like I always did, and really enjoy drinking a juice each day. My motivation comes from the fact that I want to look good at my wedding in five months time but it’s something I want to continue after as I think it’s essential as I head further into my 30's, I start to feel my age when I don’t do anything. Other than these few habits I am fairly relaxed at what I eat, and I do what I want at the weekends as I have no workouts planned, I do try to get up early at the weekends but I’m not quite there yet as I like to socialise and enjoy having a few cocktails time to time! 

Wedding Haul

Hi, I made a short video about all of the decorations I have bought for my wedding so far, for me this is one of the most exciting parts about planning my own wedding.

I've Finally got my Wedding Dress!!!

Oh crap! Iv just bought my wedding dress, I’m sitting on the train home from blackheath in London where I went to try on a few dresses, I had one in mind that Iv been dreaming about ever since I saw Rock and Roll Bride post it on her Instagram, she said it was a photo that they didn’t end up using in her Magazine. I think I fell instantly in love with it and only more so once I found more photos of it online, it’s been nice to imagine myself wearing it on my wedding day as I had no idea if I would ever find a dress with the look I had in my mind all this time.

I have an old grey t-shirt dress that I love, and love wearing and I always thought of that dress when imagining what I wanted for my wedding. I was starting to think I’d end up compromising or going for something completely different. I also never in my life thought I’d have a dress that Iv gone for, and the plans I have for it as to how I will wear it as it is quite versatile. It's such a stand out 'hey look at me!' dress which is so not my wall flower type personality.

Right now I just feel so relieved, I had so many worries, I thought I might hate it when I try it on or that they wouldn’t even have it in the store and the people would be really snobby. When I went in and was met by two ladies, one showed me around their dresses and the other helped me try it on, I tried on 4 and each time I came out, the owner, a gentleman came to see and gave his opinion as well as the two ladies and they were all so lovely and kind. I went alone today as I felt like I just wanted it to be a quick and easy process, I didn't want to drag my family and friends across London to come and look at it with me as I was quite sure in my head that I wanted it (unless it looked completely shit once I put it on) When they brought it out of their stockroom and hung it up I just thought WOW. I will post pictures of my dress after my wedding in June. See you tomorrow! 

Getting Some Good Sleep

I’m the kind of person who gets so excited about events and projects that I make myself ill, and this year is the biggest event/project of my life as I am getting married. Event planning is probably one of my favourite things to do, I love everything that surrounds an event; the planning, decorations, what to wear, even budgeting as it means I get to be creative. Every night my mind is zooming, so Iv started keeping a note pad on my bedside table for all the thoughts and 'amazing' ideas (which are rubbish but seem totally amazing and so exciting just as Im falling asleep) zooming around my head, then I don’t have to think about them anymore and can get to sleep. 

Iv been trying a few other things lately and I’m noticing some small improvements. We have a street light directly outside our bedroom window, so we have blackout curtains (which aren’t the most efficient at blacking out light) so we also have a blackout blind from Ikea. Both together do not completely black out the light so we will be installing another blackout blind at some point.

One thing I absolutely love and notice an instant effect, is from applying Magnesium oil just before I go to bed. I used to use Magnesium oil on my sore muscles after working out, as it really takes the edge off the pain for the next day. It wasn’t until I heard about applying it to your chest to help get a deep sleep that it started making a huge difference to my sleep quality. At first I thought it was quite scary as Magnesium oil helps your muscles to relax and by applying to my chest I would be relaxing my heart muscle, but I was curious so I gave it a go. When I woke up, I felt like I'd had the most deepest sweetest sleep, it’s like I’d finally quenched my thirst for rest and got a decent nights sleep instead of feeling like shit every morning. It feels so good to have this kind of sleep, but it still isn’t easy to get up from. You can also rub it over your shoulders and neck as these points can get tight from stress everyday. One thing to note however is that it can be slightly itchy to wear, but you can wash it off after 10mins and still get the same effect.

Before bed I try to make sure I have everything ready for the next day, and to have my flat as tidy as possible so that I’m not stressed before I leave the house in the morning. I also like to drink a tea, either Mint or Camomile, Camomile tea is my favourite about 30mins before I get into bed as I find it has a slightly calming effect and makes me start to get sleepy, it’s also nice to have something warm to drink. I have my favourite brand 'Pukka' (the tea bags look posh but aren't too expensive) and we only own mugs that we love which are from Ikea, it's these little touches that make it feel more comforting and self indulgent. I try to get out of our second bedroom that we use as an office at least an hour before bed, as we use daylight bulbs in there which emit blue light and help to keep you alert and awake. I often go in the living room and sit on the sofa with the cats with the room half lit, with a magazine, I only read Mollie Makes (I shouldn’t actually read this as it makes me overexcited about making stuff) You may have noticed that I have slipped out of this habit anyway as I have been uploading blogs every evening this year.

Those are just a few of the things I do regularly to help get me off to sleep and make me feel rested, I'm still working on actually getting out of bed in the morning!

Easing In to Working Out

This year has started like no other, I started the year dressed as a unicorn 🦄, I could leave it at that, but I seem to be super motivated in some areas of my life, which is why I am keeping up with my goal to have a blog post every weekday ( for a month) and a YouTube video every Sunday so far. I’m not so motivated in other areas, like working on getting fit, going to bed earlier and waking up earlier. I’m glad I get regular exercise commuting on my bike every week day, but I often use this as an excuse not to do a full body workout, my upper body feels so weak and my posture is getting bad so I want to improve and get stronger.

Iv figured out that the only time I can get a consistent workout in is 5-5.30am as I usually get up for work at 5.30am and sometimes don’t get home until 7.30 which is when I want to be winding down , not getting worked up. Since the new year I have been trying to get up the 30mins at 5am but it just isn’t happening. I put my phone outside the bedroom so I have to get up out of bed to turn the alarm off, but I often just get back into bed or go and nap at my desk or the sofa (as desk and sofa naps don’t count and therefore I did get up at 5am 🤦🏻‍♀️) I sleep in my workout gear, so I haven’t slept in pyjamas at all this year! My workout area is always prepped; dvd ready to go, trainers, socks and a bottle of water but I just don’t have the drive.

Quite often I don’t fall asleep until around 1-2hrs of lying in bed, so I’m always exhausted in the mornings. Cycling to work and having to carry my bike around puts me off, as I don’t want the crippling sore muscles the next day making my commute agony. I also have long days at work that make me feel exhausted, it’s winter and cold in the mornings, I didn’t want to be a cliche and start working out in the New Years only to fail a month later. I could make so many more excuses but I know I’d feel so much better after the first week or two of my workout plan. I’m slowly trying to ease myself in and go easy on myself with this goal, I usually go in all guns blazing and then the motivation goes after a few weeks. I’m creating the time in the morning first by getting my body used to the slightly earlier start. I also want look at my diet as I remember eating so much more fruit and veg a few years ago when I was at uni, I would literally jump out of bed in the morning, so I want that again (and this was actually my only new year resolution; to eat more fruit and veg). I also want to look into how I can get to sleep faster and have a more rested night.

This week is packed so I will start working out next Monday, I’m going to do 5 weeks of Shaun T's T25 Alpha plan and do it at my own pace to begin with. I will work myself up to it though by doing a workout this Friday and Saturday morning just so that my body can get over the initial muscle soreness, and as these are the only days I can do this week. I’m not going to be too hard on myself, it’s one of the things I hate about a five week (or 3 or 4 week, a longish plan). If I miss a workout then I get completely thrown and tell myself it’s ok to miss a few more until I completely fall off the wagon. I’m a perfectionist so I love to see that Iv completed every workout on the right day at the right time, I’m going to try really hard and just do the best I can. This tactic is actually working with my goal to write this blog, most days I feel completely uninspired to write and then something will come to me on the train home and I’ll just go with it, because I have passion and motivation to get it done (Sorry if my posts are a bit random)  So I'm hoping I will find my passion and motivation for working out again, I usually do once I start seeing results. One plus point is writing it on here so that I'm kind of held accountable if anyone is actually reading this!

A Year Without My Car

Hello! This is the second video I've done this year, its about why I decided to give up my car to find an alternative way to commute to work. Hope you enjoy it!

How I plan to budget for our essentials this year

This year has started well as we began by planning our meals every two weeks, only doing a big food shop the first week and then getting my any small fresh food bits that we need the week after, so far it’s working well. We know exactly what meals we’re having, cooking five different meals the first week; enough for four people, and freezing half to be eaten the following week, which means we get a week off from cooking dinners. We’ve choseymeals that we both like and that aren’t to boring to cook so my fiancé who has a flair for cooking doesn’t get bored. We have meat roughly 4 times a week and fish or vege the other three days. I cook a big batch of soup for our week day lunches every Sunday, as well as preparing a large frittata that I divide up for my breakfasts also for the week days. We budgeted to spend around £300 a month on food, cleaning materials and toiletries, we only spent £65 the first two weeks so we are well under budget so far, but I’m sure that once we start to use up all the things we have, the budget might get tight.

For us this year we are really motivated not to spend our money on silly things as we need every penny for our wedding, it also helps that we get the satisfaction from buying things that we want for our wedding; using the budget to buy things that can be used in other ways or sold afterwards to get the money back. We are also getting more creative for example when we ran out of kitchen roll which we usually use to clean things like mirrors or spills etc. We started to use old tea towels and wet wipes that we stocked up on last year.

I had a feeling that as soon as we started to try to spend less, something would break or need repairing, it’s sods law, so of course our microwave has given up. We use it every day to defrost meat and cook various things that aid in preparing our meals, as well as defrosting our whole second week of dinners. I’m just glad it wasn’t something bigger (fingers crossed I’m not tempting fate!) however, I’m determined not to buy a new one, millions of people do not have microwaves and are perfectly fine without them, it will take a small adjustment and some organisation so that we remember to get meals out the night before so they can defrost before we reheat them. Simple

Wedding Cake or Cocktail Trolley?

We budgeted for our wedding cake and then decided that I would make my own, Iv made a few before so I’m confident it will turn out ok, however when we looked at the cake table hire option, I thought it looked quite plain and sad, a small round table with a white table cloth. So I had the brilliant idea to buy a bar cart! What a great idea I thought, and after convincing My fiancé that we couldn’t get married without one (he didn’t need much convincing) we got it. We love cocktails and my fiancé loves making them and trying all the different ones out, since getting the cart we have become regular consumers of cocktails (and have regular cocktail hangovers to go with it) so there is no such thing as a dry January in our flat!

I have wanted a cocktail cart for years, there was a time when you would see them everywhere, used as a cocktail cart or simply a surface to put anything on. We saw them in Paris on a short holiday and since then Iv never forgotten about them, all I needed was the perfect excuse to get one.

Our cocktail cart is from Atkin and Thyme and I think it was very reasonably priced, especially when it came with a 15% discount. We already had some bar equipment, glasses and most of the various mixers and alcohols. The extra things I got to style it up a bit more was this mirror tray from M&S, and as soon as we found out that Ikea we’re doing Coup/Champagne Bowl glasses, we got some of those too as they are my favourite shaped glass, they are also less easy to spill your cocktail from compared to a Martini glass!

I would like to buy a few more things for the cart to make it look more stylish everyday, as the flowers that sit on it sometimes don’t last long, Iv seen a few cool cocktail shakers and ice buckets that I love! But right now I will have to wait until we are done paying for our wedding. For now I’ve improvised with a disco ball, honey combes and paper straws to add interest and fill any empty spaces.

Wedding Decorations

This has possibly been my favourite part about planning our wedding and I’m so glad I have a fiancé that is completely happy for me to run away with my ideas for our wedding decor, although he was surprised at the amount of very large boxes that turned up to is work all at once when he gave me the go ahead to start buying things …oops!

So Iv bought a few decorations for our wedding as I have clear vision about how I want everything to look. I care a lot about the decor, however we’ve not budgeted that much for decorations, the things I have bought so far are things that are cheaper to buy than to make, as I plan to make a fair amount myself and with family.

I may have planned to do slightly too much crafting for our wedding but I’ll hopefully have lots of help, plus I’m going to get started on it all this month (hopefully!) We are really lucky to have a spare bedroom to store everything in, although we also use it as an office. I currently have a mountain of whicker picnic hampers piled up on the day bed, covered in blankets (they seem to be rather tempting my two rabbits to nibble on) and the blankets have only lured the cats who claimed it as their cozy sleeping mountain 🙄 but I’m not bothered as long as everyone is happy and nothing is being eaten!

Once I received the first lot of decorations I felt quite happy about the amount but as we will now have two tents to fill and a barn instead of one, I feel they might look a bit sparse. So I either need to make something  (that will be cheaper) or buy extra large disco balls and more pink flamingos (I’m swaying more to this), but I’m trying to be sensible with our budget.

Searching for the Dress...

In my YouTube video I spoke a bit about how I have six months to go till my wedding, but have yet to find my wedding dress. Growing up I felt like most of a wedding day was centred around what the bride wore and looked like, but I was never really interested and didn’t assume I would ever get married, so I felt slightly unprepared when beginning to look for my ‘one’. I also assumed that brides loved the process of looking for it, having family around drinking champagne and trying dresses on - again something I’m not really into. However I have discovered that quite a few brides find the whole thing stressful and quite labouring, scrolling through endless websites, pictures of dresses on Pinterest and flicking through magazines.

To be honest, I’ve been putting it off with excuses like ‘oh it’s a nightmare trying to get all my family and friends in the same place at the same time’ and getting them to various locations too as there are Bridal shops scattered all over the country/world. So I've decided that I am going to go it alone, Iv booked two places to try dresses on that shouldn’t be too much of a pain to get to, (only a two hour train ride!) My hopes are pinned on one dress, I saw it while scrolling through Instagram the other day and immediately fell in love, further investigation only made me love it even more. While it may be slightly out of budget (by only a THOUSAND! 😫) I hope it will put an end to my search and give me sweet relief by being as amazing as I want it to be. I won’t picture it here until after the big day, but it’s exactly what I’m looking for, a traditional white, really casual comfortable fitting dress, with very small but beautiful details, but something very different. I can’t wait to try it on! Cross your fingers for me that it’s the one! 🤞

Wedding Planning 6 Months to go

Hello! I made a video all about how my wedding planning is going with only six months to go, go and give it a watch!

January Blues

I noticed somebody talking about the January Blues on instagram today, and I began to remember, oh yes, it’s supposed to be depressing this time of the year because Christmas is over and everyone goes back to work. But I started thinking and I honestly haven’t felt like that this year so far, and I certainly don’t intend to either if I can help it. Maybe it’s because I’m excited about my wedding, but thinking about that comes with waves of panic and stress. I did feel slightly sad that I was returning to work the evening before, but I felt fine on the day and Iv never been so motivated to do my best at my job.

I think it’s to do with the fact that over the years I have become increasingly more optimistic and I’m really starting to believe that I can do better things, and make my life one that I love to live. I feel so focused on what I want right now and for my future and I’m enjoying it. Actually I know the real reason, it’s because I’m really starting not to give a shit about what anyone else thinks of me and what I do anymore. For my whole life (I am 30 now) I have had crippling self consciousness; my mind telling me that I’m to awkward, in the way, and made people feel negative, and this made me so shy and too embarrassed to even talk openly about my opinions or how I felt. I thought that every word that would come out of my mouth would be stupid, and someone would find out that I am a stupid, ignorant, unintelligent, uninteresting human and then everyone would know and I’d have no friends. I the end though this feeling actually caused me not to have any friends at times, because who wants a friend who is as blank as a sheet of paper?

Well Iv been working on this since around the age of 17 and I feel like I’m finally starting to flourish, I have so many ideas brimming over in my mind, it's like my creativity has been locked away for years and it’s bursting to get out like a million trapped balloons! So I’m so happy to finally crack on with my goals unapologetically this year and really start living my life the way I want to. 

I know I still have so far to go but I'm really enjoying pushing my boundaries and challenging myself to see what I can do, and it makes me feel so excited about the future.

Keeping it Clean in 2018

As I have kicked of this year with a freshly clean home from my big clean just before Christmas, I really want to keep it this way throughout the year. I have made cleaning schedules before that consist of when and what to clean how many times a year, but I kind of get lost a half way through the year and then it all seems to pile up again.

This year I am trying similar approach with the only difference being that I will actually schedule what to clean at a specific time that I know I will be able to complete it. For example in January I know I need to clean the hoover and in February clean all the ceiling fixtures. As I plan my month out and look for some free time to do it, I mark it down in my diary, I will also have a few backup times that I could possibly do it in as well, in case it takes longer than I thought or something else crops up that is more important. This means that I know that at some point in January this task will get done and I can tick it off my list until it needs doing next time.

There isn’t a lot of cleaning to be done in our flat but its when it gets left, and so many things get dirty all at the same time and it feels overwhelming, so cleaning the flat bit by bit over the year means that it should be consistently clean.

Here is a copy of my cleaning schedule for the year, I haven’t made it look all fancy and visually beautiful because it’s a bloody cleaning schedule and I have no time for that, it needs to get done so I just do it and don’t overthink it.

Cleaning:

Daily

Make bed

Quick tidy

Washing up

Wipe down Kitchen

Put clothes away

Weekly

Clean bunny house 2x

Change cat litter 2x

Clean clothes, heavy, light and whites

Clean towels

Clean Kitchen

Clean Bathrooms

Fold clothes

Monthly

Dust and Polish

Clean glass

Polish 2x

Dust shelves

Vacuum vents and woodwork

Clean laundry machines and vacuum

Wash bedding 2x

Ironing 2x

Deep clean rabbit house

3-6 Months

Deep clean hoover

Clean ceiling and light fixtures

Wipe down inside of fridge

Clean kitchen extractor fan

Wash net curtains

Clean under and behind furniture

Wash pillows and cushions 

Descale Nespresso machine

Clean bins

Clean oven

Clean out freezer

Clean windows

Washing machine cleaning treatment

I Tried Needle Felting for the First Time

I have wanted to try needle felting for quite a few years now but found it to be quite expensive. However, while perusing around Hobbycraft I found some small felting kits with a choice of different animals and mystical creatures; like unicorns and dragons, but I opted for a pair of small Llama’s. The kit comes with different coloured felt (enough for two Llamas and their features), two needles, a polystyrene block and two small polystyrene Llama torsos.

To begin with I found it hard to attach the felt to the torsos, punching the needle through the felt and into the polystyrene many times as the instructions said ‘it may take some time’, it also took some of my blood as it was quite tricky to avoid my fingers while furiously stabbing a tiny Llama torso. In the end I found it easier to matt a small section of the felt onto the polystyrene block before applying it to the torso; the felt stuck much quicker this way. It was also much quicker to get the felt to the desired matted appearance and texture.

The end result for me was quite a cute fluffy, squishy little Llama, the torso has just about disintegrated on the inside but the felt holds its shape. Overall I am pleased with the outcome but not sure if I will try the second one. I feel like it was too much work for something that has no purpose other than looking cute on my shelf,(I hate clutter and ‘Nick nacks’) maybe I will keep him for a while to inspire me to try more new skills.

Happy Hump Day!

Taking the Christmas Decorations Down

Yesterday I took our decorations down, I managed to clean our flat quite thoroughly before Christmas so it was nice to take everything down and have a clear space again, although it does feel a little sparse and cold now.

I arranged the decorations back into their boxes of which they no longer fit as I bought a few new decorations. I have no idea where to put our giant star light, but we really enjoyed it when it was up. I loved all the paper folded fan decorations around this year and different coloured tinsels, I got very inspired while watching Kirstie’s Handmade Christmas and will try to imitate that look once I have the budget.

Is the the 1st of January too early to take it all down? Personally I want nothing to do with Christmas as soon as January begins as I’m ready to start a fresh.  Don’t get me wrong, I love Christmas, but when your partner starts playing Christmas songs half way through October, you get kind of fed up of Christmas by the time it comes around. What do you think? When do you take your decorations down?